Grow up – part 1

Before I really understand this word means…

I do feel angry with myself, thinking how stupid I am and questioning why is everything could goes wrong in every way. As much as i want to blame on him, but i can only blame myself. As much as mean my words to hurt him, but it became hurt myself. I always point my finger on him but then i realized it does no good.


Then i start…

I admit that I am not that innocent. 

I can only take a responsibility for me.

I can only save myself.

I face my daemons.

I stop making an excuses.

There’s no point to cursed every single things on what was happened to me. I can’t keep ignoring the problems. I start to say in the first time “I am sorry” and it is feels good. 

I want him, I still do but in a different way. Not as mine, but as someone that I could make a story at. 

All of these lessons learned is always in the hard way.


Now i know..

I want to grow up and I wish you could too.







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